GRRR

This is how I feel right now with everything.  I am just not doing well with the eating and feeling full.  I had to have fluid removed from my band 3 days after surgery due to swelling.  Now that the swelling is down I feel like I am right where I was with not feeling full and being able to eat normal size meals again.  I can not wait until Monday to go and get a fill.  I hope it helps!

Back to work

My post op visit went well yesterday.  I am down a total of 32 lbs so far, so I pretty excited about that.  I was advanced to soft foods and was never so excited to eat a mushed up meatball, now keep in mind it took like 30 minutes to eat two small meatballs but that is ok.
I had 2 scrambled eggs this morning for breakfast and those took at least 30 minutes too but it feels good to have food in my system and to be learning how to eat with the band in.
I am back at work and feeling nervous about people noticing my eating habits, but then I think they never noticed the no food and only shakes for 2 weeks so I should be ok.
I know they will eventually figure it out but I am just not ready to talk about the surgery with them at all.  I don't know why I need the time but I do.  I need to be able to adjust to things first before people start to ask questions and want answers.
I have to do the soft foods all week this week, I go back to the doctor next Wednesday and should be able to advance to regular foods.
I am feeling better so I may try to walk a little bit tonight.  I don't think I will be able to do the 3 to 4 miles a day I was up to but something is better than nothing.

First day post op

Well surgery was yesterday, I did it!  Things went pretty well yesterday, started out a little rough with a long wait before surgery which caused me to way over think things.  Once things got going I was fine.
Surgery lasted less that 40 minutes and all went well.   I have 5 incisions on my tummy, they are covered right now and I have not seem them so I am not how long they are.  I will update on that once I take them off to shower tomorrow. 
I did very well with pain in the hospital yesterday and was up walking 2 hours after surgery.  My doctor gives you a Tylenol drip every 6 hours to help with swelling and it managed the pain for the most part.  I wish I could say I slept well last night but between the pain of the IV, it was in the back of my wrist because they couldn't get it in my hand and being woken up every couple of hours sleep wasn't great.
The doctor did send me home with a script with pain meds that I told him I didn't need and boy am I glad he did.  I was very sore after the car ride home and moving around a lot more.  I took one this afternoon and slept for a little bit. 
I am on an all liquid diet of shakes and strained soups and thinned out cream of wheat and oatmeal.  I had a strained bowl of creamy chicken noodle soup at dinner and took some Tylenol to help with the swelling.  Right now my tummy is very swollen and sore.  I am hoping that will help with the pain for the most part.  Right now I am uncomfortable sitting, standing and walking so I can't find a happy spot right now.  I am hoping that will pass in the coming days.
I will keep you posted on how things seem to move along. 

worse day

Yesterday was by far the worse day of this two week diet.  I was so tired and worn out and just didn't have the mental game down yesterday and everything seemed to get to me.
The girl in the office with me seemed to eat all day yesterday so it was really hard.  Listening to the crunching and the bag rattling....ah!  Those thing bother me on a normal day let alone day 8 of no food.  I had to go to the rest room several times, sit, cry and ask God for strength several times.
The closer I get the more the mental game is getting to me.  I know that it is mind over matter and I need to decide what is important to me.  I need to remember the reasons I want have to have this done.
My son is my life and I need to make sure I am here for him forever.
I will say I did make it though the day without stopping and getting a large pizza and eating it all.  I actually only took 3 small bites of the meat I had made for Noah, 1 to make sure it wasn't to hot, 1 to get him to eat and 1 because!  I know it is 3 more than I should have but it is better than the state of mind I was in during the afternoon.

Slacker

I have been slacking on writing updates this week.  Just know because I am slacking on that I am not on other things.

I had a great day on Monday!  I walked a little over a mile at lunchtime at work and did good with  my shakes.  I will say I did cheat at dinner and had maybe a 1/2 oz. of chicken if that.  I ate a few bites while cutting up my son's dinner.  I will say it was VERY hard not to eat what he wouldn't and I was dying throwing out what was left but I did it.  I don't feel so overly bad about the few bites because after that my cousin and I took Noah for a 3 mile walk.  So that was a total of 4 miles on Monday.  Yea me!

Tuesday I did good food wise but didn't get to walk at all.  I didn't go at lunchtime and my son had a doctor's apt at 5 and by the time we got out of there and home it was after 7.  I still needed to make lunches for the next day, get him bathed and ready for bed, and clean up a little bit.  I was going to try to ride the stationary bike we have but that didn't happen.  He had gotten shots so bedtime was a little rough.

I am past the half way mark on the pre op diet and can't believe what seemed so far off 6 months ago is less than a week away.  I am slowly losing my energy from not eating and can't wait to just had something other than liquid in my tummy.

Weekend over

Well I made it!  1 weekend down 1 more to go.  I have to say for the most part I did pretty well; better than I thought I would to be honest.  I am craving some foods but I know that in due time I will be able to have small amounts of them.

I am finding I have really good days where I am not hungry very much, and was able to only have 2 shakes and 1 bar yesterday.  Then I have others where I think 1 bite of food and no one will know.  I know that I would only be hurting myself if I did it.  I have found that gum is my friend right now.  The chewing motion seems to be enough to stop the hunger for a little bit.

My husband, son and I went for a walk yesterday and he and I were talking about what we will do for meals after surgery is over.  I think the crock pot will be the best way for me because the meal will be almost cooked when I get home.  I have realized that when I get home until dinner cooked time is the worse for me.  So I need to make sure I don't fail during that time.  So I am in search of any good healthy recipes anyone may have.


Until tomorrow

First Saturday down

I was so worried about how I would handle being home on Saturday alone with my son while my husband was at work.  Plus my mom and I usually go shopping and out to eat for lunch on Saturdays. I was super stressed about that.

I waited until around 10 to eat my morning shake so it would hold me while she and I were out shopping.  We ran to a few stores and then needed to stop and get my son who is 18 months old something for lunch.  She was very great and said she could take him if I wanted to run to anther store so I was tempted but I said no I need to be able to handle these types of things.  I did very well and got myself a diet soda while they are.  It was very hard because I love the grilled wraps from this place but I held strong.

I feel that each day I get a little stronger at being able to pass things up and it not bother me.  I don't know how that will be after I have the band and know I can eat food.  My mind right now is if you eat you don't get surgery and I have to do that.

Hoping Sunday is as good for me.